Idolatry: Worshipping Family instead of God

Do you worship family instead of God? I did.

While my children were growing up, I gave my family priority over everything else. I devoted myself to their health, their safety, and their happiness. Getting up in the morning, my first thoughts revolved around them. What do they need? Where do they have to go today? How do they feel?

Going to bed at night, they were my last thoughts as well. Do they have friends? Is their school safe? Are they getting sick? What activities should we add or cut?

Like many parents, I did my best to raise them right. I volunteered at their school, taught them values, took them interesting places, hosted playdates, read lots of books, and loved them more than anything else.

More than God.

You see, in those days, I knew OF God, but I had yet to KNOW God.

Amidst the busy schedule of youth, we saved a place for God on some Sundays and for a week during summer’s Vacation Bible School. When I look back on those days now, I can see that I treated God as an afterthought. Worshipping him was something I would “try” to fit in. Faith was important, but not as important as my family. I worshipped my family.

When you worship someone or something more than God, the Bible calls it idolatry. Today, it is easy for many things to become idols. Money, achievements, food, fitness, entertainment, relationships, and family are just a few examples of some things we can unintentionally begin to worship. They evolve into gods gradually as we devote more time, energy, and thought to them. Eventually as idols rule over our lives, they become the cause of struggle or sin.

I know, you might be shaking your head saying, “No way, serving family is a good thing. Surely, God is for that!” Love for family is important, but God wants that love to be drawn out of our initial love for him. As the source of all love, God helps us love our families in deeper, better ways.

How do we change the focus of our worship from family to God?

Make God the Centerpiece

You must not have any other god but me. Exodus 20:3 NLT

Picture a long table with lots of chairs. Each of those chairs provides a seat for all the important things in life. There are seats for family members, work, vacations, hobbies, dreams, etc. In the center of the table is the most beautiful centerpiece you’ve ever seen. It is extremely long and wide, with fragrant blossoms extending the length of the table, and foliage flowing out to the rim of every place setting.

God does not want us to save him a seat at the table; he wants to be the centerpiece of the table. He wants to be the center of our lives, seen from every place setting and touching every aspect of our days. Becoming the centerpiece means he is involved in everything. And, his love becomes visible to others in everything we do.

When family is the centerpiece of the table instead of God, life can get – well, stinky. Family relationships can start to rule daily life, plans, and emotions. Parents and children both feel pressured to keep the family happy, to live up to expectations, and take care of problems they can’t control. The disappointments cause stress and hurt; they can drive families apart.

When God is the centerpiece of our lives we think of him first. Instead of trying to fix and control things ourselves, we remember to tell him our worries and ask him to guide our family. We listen and watch for his answers. Efforts are made to learn about his ways and his promises. We learn to trust his results rather than our own.

Model God’s Love

We love each other because he loved us first. 1 John 4:19 NLT

Putting God in the center of our lives helps us love our families the way he intended. This does not mean we love them less; it means we love them differently. Love for family flows out of our primary devotion to God. We love them using our love for God as a reference.

His love provides reassurances and hope we cannot find on our own. Our prayers direct us to people and ideas we did not consider before. Learning about his love teaches us to love family in healthier, more productive ways.

Modeling God’s love means we stop getting too wrapped up in the happiness of others. It means recognizing that each person we care for is on their own unique journey. We can lovingly offer guidance on this journey, but we cannot lead the way. Through love, God grants us free will and extends grace, so we must work hard at doing the same for our families.

Let Go and Let God Work

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT

In choosing us to be parents, God hands out some tough assignments. First, he entrusts us with the care of our children. Second, he expects us to model his love well to them. And, finally he asks us to stand back and let him work.

God did not intend for us to raise our children without his help. He has the instruction manual for each child, and he doesn’t even have to read it. Because he wrote it. He knows the plan for all of their days – where they will go, what they will feel, and who they will be. He gives them a purpose and all the skills they need to fulfill it. He will never be surprised by their choices or unsure of their destiny. He has already seen it all played out. He created them, loves them, and relentlessly pursues a one-on-one relationship with them.

Just like us, our children will also have trouble worshipping idols. Unhealthy temptations and addictions are difficult for all of us to resist. Other longings, which seem healthy and positive, like success, beauty, fitness, and love can also get out of control.  As children grow, many things get in the way of a relationship with God. We struggle, and so will they.

Ultimately, we cannot control who or what our children will worship. Like us, they are blessed with the freedom to make choices, to learn and grow, and to discover what faith means. We can, however, control our prayer life, and prayer is a very mighty thing. We can pray they come to know God and develop a relationship with him. And then we rest, knowing that our prayers for them will live on even after we are gone.

A Prayer for your Week

Dear God,

Blessed be your name above all earthly things. Thank you for the family you have given me and for the intense love I feel for them. Help me as I strive to make you the centerpiece of my life, and guard my heart from worshipping anything but you.

Make me aware of the opportunities you provide each day to model your love. Keep me humble as I display you as the source of this love. Letting go and trusting my children in your care is hard. Reassure me of your plans for them, and strengthen my trust in your care as they walk with you.

I know you are at work in the lives of everyone I love, enlightening them to your plans. I pray that they come to know you in spite of the world’s distractions and whatever else competes for the devotion of their hearts. May they find faith to worship you alone.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Additional References:

For more on the various idols that compete for our hearts, I highly recommend the book Gods at War by Kyle Idleman on Amazon here.

For more on letting children go, read the previous post A Hand to Hold

For more on coping with family transitions, read the previous post Hot from Life’s Kitchen – Platefuls of Transition