Love on Ordinary Days



“The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:31 New International Version (NIV)

She stood on my doorstep, her face mirroring my own, shadowed with concern. It was September 11, 2001, and the world would be forever changed. Our family had recently moved from New York to Iowa. My husband, however, was still working in New York City, not far from the Twin Towers. “I just heard the news,” my neighbor said. “Are you alright?”

Unreachable by phone, his safety was finally confirmed via email late that day. Stories of a city that looked like a war zone. Heavy sadness regarding the fate of colleagues. People uniting for aid and sanity.

This past weekend another tragic scene of terror took place in Paris. Witnesses’ testimonies resound and horrific images roll across our television screens. Hearing accounts of shopkeepers and residents ushering people off the street into safer havens brings back the hard memories of 9/11 once again.

Days like this come all too often anymore. Bringing their own brand of fear and sorrow, they compel us to broaden our definition of who “neighbors” are and how to love them through painful times.

In the midst of chaos, we become keenly aware of the call on our hearts to express love to others despite differences or distance. Somehow this call diminishes once life returns to normal. Why?

Maybe because when life is “ordinary”, there is ample space for human judgement and disregard to creep in. Sometimes, unintentionally, our “humanness” deflates our power to love. It is so much easier to love someone when they are nice, when they agree with our opinions, and when their lifestyle is comparable to our own. If differences arise or time is scarce, then demonstrating love challenges the best of us.

Scripture clearly emphasizes loving others as we love ourselves. Jesus commands us to love intentionally this way every day – even ordinary days. How can we amend our human nature to better fulfill God’s expectations to love? Here are some ideas I’m working on:   

  • Learn: Study acceptance through examples of love. Every week we hear extraordinary stories of love, service, and even forgiveness.

In late 2014, a couple (Deborah and Donald St. Laurent) in New Hampshire lobbied to release their son’s killer, Chris Bazar, from prison, then gave him a job and a place to live. The two young men were best friends up until the night of the shooting, when drinking and marijuana impaired Bazar’s thinking. The Christian Post offers this quote from the bereaved father: “I think he’s done his time. I think it’s something that he’s gonna have to live with for the rest of his life. I also believe that people deserve a second chance,” added Mr. St. Laurent. (Web. 12 November 2015)

Headlines like this are reminiscent of teachings in the Bible. Modeling neighborly love throughout his life, Jesus also befriended those others turned away. He continually counseled and assisted the sick, the poor, the elderly, and the imprisoned.

God does not ask us to decide if someone is worthy of love; he declares love for all people, regardless of circumstances. He instructs us to simply and obediently demonstrate his love and acceptance.

  • Listen: Hear needs for love around us. Identifying needs help us understand how our talents can showcase love. Is it in the form of encouragement, comfort, resources, wisdom, ministry…?

Gustavo “Goose” Alvarez spent more than ten years locked up in prison. While there, he discovered a valuable food commodity – instant ramen noodle soup cups. Prisoners could buy them at the commissary, trade them, and concoct elaborate feasts with random ingredients.

For example, instant ramen combined with strawberry jelly and soy sauce makes a delicious teriyaki soup. Add Flamin’ Hot Cheetos to a cup for a tamale flavor. Alvarez and a childhood friend wrote a book detailing recipes collected from prisoners, along with some intriguing stories about serving time. Prison Ramen: Recipes and Stories from Behind Bars is now sold in bookstores both inside and outside of prison.

Alvarez paid attention to the needs around him. He saw that swapping stories and recipes brought the prisoner community closer together, leading to fellowship instead of hostility. His storytelling talent benefits not only the prison community, but many others who enjoy a good tale and cheap meal.

  • Lead: Use our own pain to love others. We are all messed up, imperfect, and broken. Our pain ideally positions us to help someone else on a similar path.

The Woodward family of Atlanta, Georgia is using their experience in battling Crohn’s disease and Ulcerative Colitis to help others. Three of the four members in their family cope with these conditions. All successfully achieved remission through the Specific Carbohydrate Diet (SCD). Sharing their experience and helping others became their website’s mission. And, their foundation assists in funding unprecedented SCD research at the Children’s Hospital of Atlanta and the Seattle Children’s Hospital.

The Woodward family bravely shares their journey to help others cope. Their story illustrates how one family can generate a ripple effect of love through their own hardship.

These examples illustrate how we can work to better “love our neighbors” every day. Learning how others overcome judgement helps us think differently about people. Listening to needs for love identifies ways to use talents. And, leading others out of brokenness provides proof of God’s grace.

God’s heart breaks when his people are in the midst of tragedy. He calls us to help revive their hope. Then, he asks for our best effort in remembering this same assignment when order is restored.

Prayer for the Week:

Dear Lord, Prayers for our neighbors in Paris to feel the comfort of your embrace. May they receive your love through those faithfully serving as your hands and feet. Show me how to love even when it is difficult. Teach me how my talents can help others overcome challenges. Enable me to confidently use my own hurt to boldly love others. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Scriptures to Apply:

Mark 12:31, “The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (NIV)

Romans 12:15, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” (NIV)

Luke 6:31, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” (NIV)

Questions to Help Make Sense of Life:  What situations or people make it difficult for me to love? If I ask God to help me think about this differently, what might I learn? Where do my talents match up with needs for love? How can I use the brokenness of my life to help heal other lives?


Unearth Your Gifts

Unearth your gifts

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8 New International Version (NIV)

My seventh grade English class took place in a portable classroom trailer. The room was sparsely decorated because it was seen as a temporary space used only when enrollment increased. Situated near the parking lot, there was a grassy patch behind it where some kids forged their way to coolness by smoking cigarettes before the 8 AM start bell.

A long sidewalk from the portable led into the junior high school. Back in the icy winters before parents sued schools for negligence, many students, myself included, took terribly embarrassing falls in front of their snickering classmates. It was in such a place that I first heard I should use my life for writing.

I remember the pride I felt as my teacher encouraged me and told me how she felt inspired by the words I wrote. She said I should really consider being a writer. I remember this place, these words, and the experience in that room vividly. But, I did not go on to pursue writing. Although I loved books, I had never met an actual writer who could model the career for me. In the world I lived in, business careers were the path to follow for success. So that I did.

I worked at having it “all”, but never felt like I did. I worked for big corporations, started a consulting business, and taught marketing classes at a university. I got tired of trying to keep it “all” together, so I changed course and became a stay-at-home mom. Life got easier in some ways and harder in others. While I was no longer stressed about finding care for my children, I found myself missing the learning, recognition, and challenges of the work place. But, I pushed that emotion aside and forged ahead, concentrating on my two young tasks at hand.

My two tasks are grown now. The youngest left for college this fall. For the first time in a long time, I find myself wondering what lies ahead for me.

Do you ever feel a yearning to do something that you do not know how to start or how you will ever finish? A yearning that stays with you through the years even though it gets blanketed with other responsibilities and false ambitions.

Have you ever stopped long enough that the clutter of your life clears, and you feel this desire that repeats itself like the beats of your heart? And, you know that ignoring it any longer will leave you feeling unfulfilled.

That is where I am, and it is why I write. Deep inside all of us lies a gift waiting to be shared. Do you know what it might be for you? What is the unique way only you can share it? 

Perhaps, in a moment you are overtaken and write a heartfelt letter. You create something beautiful on a canvas or in your garden. You cook something so fabulous you claim your tastebuds can sing. You connect the dots for a winning deal or keep researching a problem until you find a solution that makes sense. Maybe you explain a concept to a child in a way that you can see the light of understanding click on in their brain. These moments are God’s glimpse into the gifts we are meant to seek out and share. 

We may not feel qualified, but like my seventh grade English teacher, God encourages you and waits for you to unearth your gifts. He is ready to open the door for you and to light your path. Knock, wait for the door to open and the light to shine in. Take the first slow step outside and begin the walk with him.   

Prayer for This Week:

Lord, help me listen for your voice in all that I do so that I may identify my gifts and know how to use them to work good in the lives of others. Give me the confidence I need to display these gifts to the world. Lead me when I am too scared to follow. Remind me to humbly bestow the glory of my work upon you. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Additional Scriptures to Apply:

Psalm 119:105, “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” (NIV)

Matthew 19:26, “Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’” (NIV)

Proverbs 19:21, “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” (NIV)    

Questions for This Week:

What activity or talent in your life causes you to lose track of time while you are busy doing it? When do you feel like you are working for a purpose greater than your own? How can you use your gift to help someone else in a way that works well with the other demands of your life?